Energetic Parent Pillows

"Sleep? Who needs sleep? It's time to PARTAY!"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

'She's just great with the children.'

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"Werewolves of London..."

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

Children in fancy dress on the way to music lessons

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

Baby tells other Baby to call.

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

Circus Act

'And when you're done here honey, I have a nice periwinkle picked out for the foyer!'

"Well, my dog cleans himself that way!"

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

"Wheeeeeeee!"

"We're playing doctor and I need 50 cents for my co-pay."

It's a letter from Tim. He claims his grades are improving and he might even make the DEEN's list.

"Hell, Mom! How's it look?!" "Holy mackerel."

See that leg? He's dreaming of chasing rabbits.