End Of Life Reflections Pillows

'You can't take it with you means your cellphones too.'

'Tell me vicar, why isn't there a cheerful reaper?'

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

'Where Are They Now?'

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

"When you're finished with your Thanksgiving

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

'It could be hours, or it could be weeks. He's determined to hang on until he finally understands the punchline to a joke everybody else got at a cocktail party in 1947!'

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

Heaven

"Just think of all the cigarettes I could have smoked."

Desk at the Horizon

Tom's last day.

'It's true that I never fulfilled my early promise of greatness, but I DID manage to catch a lot of really outstanding TV!'

They all thought they'd be astronauts...instead they're all accountants.

Closed Thursdays.

'I'm at the age when everything Mother Nature gave Father Time is taking away...'

"Get me my gun. I want to squeeze off a few last rounds."

"If I could pick just one keepsake, I think it would be the mutual funds."

"Hurry - get the family. I think he's about to communicate his final angry retweet."

'Heaven...Hell...Who cares? You're Jim Morrison.'

Saguaro Cacti.

"Dad and his stupid bucket list."

I don't care if you did win the bloody X-Factor. You're dealing with the H-Factor here.

"Have a seat!"

"Who did you think has been drawing you all this time?"

Man flying to heaven on small angel wings

"I suggest you say your final 'I told you so'."

"If every day is a gift, where can I return all of last week?"