End Of Life Reflection Pillows

Tom's last day.

Closed Thursdays.

Death had a way of making small-talk seem even smaller.

'Before you laugh just make a note that I'm a billionaire many times over, have no relatives and been given only two weeks to live...'

I don't care if you did win the bloody X-Factor. You're dealing with the H-Factor here.

"I should have watched more Bridgerton."

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

ZZZZZZZ Top

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"You used to be that ambitious."

'Where Are They Now?'

The Final Selfie

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

"When you're finished with your Thanksgiving

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

'It could be hours, or it could be weeks. He's determined to hang on until he finally understands the punchline to a joke everybody else got at a cocktail party in 1947!'

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

"Just think of all the cigarettes I could have smoked."

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

"Remember back when we were just larva and didn't have a care in the world?"

Desk at the Horizon

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'