Employment Negotiation Pillows

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

The Evolution of the Bonus

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

'Foster's here, regarding his raise sir. Shall I have him crawl in now, or let him sweat a while?'

"Is this about your raise?"

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

'Was my salary expectation a bit too high?'

'I might give you the benefit of the doubt. But I doubt it.'

'You've been with the company for 20 years Harvey, you make an excellent wage, get 4 weeks paid vacation... I'm going to have to let you go.'

'I always feel at the end of the day I could've taken credit for more.'

'Have your people facebook my people.'

'What would you say to a salary increase?'

'You may have three mergers.'

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

'Spock's expertise in M&A deal making was key to the formation of the Federation.'

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."

Book Deal

"I'd like a raise, I can't afford to binge drink on what you pay me."

"To avoid trouble, I've brought in a troubleshooter."

"You look perfectly suited for managing on the pigeons have a salary that goes with the job!"

Tired of long hours and lousy pay, Bob begins a work-to-rule campaign.

'You're asking for money? Now you're really pushing it.'

'Guess who's hinting for a raise?'

'The position sounds interesting, but my last job paid more coconuts.'

'No sir, I said could I have an increase in SALARY.'

'Actually, Carruthers, if you take the world average income, you're grossly overpaid.'

"A delightful arrangement Miss Chalmers..."

Thank You for Not Bringing Up My Salary

"I never ask for a raise any more. I just hack into the boss's computer and give myself one."

"You'll be working entirely on commission. We were kidding about the salary."

'When it comes to giving a bonus...some people will stop at nothing.'