Employment Advisor Pillows

"I've given you a glowing reference, Hempson. And here's the disclaimer to go with it."

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

'Well bang goes your second career as a claimant.'

Tribunal Claims office with 'Direct Discrimination' tray and 'Indirect Discrimination' tray.

"I'm looking for a job at an anti-capitalist non-profit organization but I want at least 3000 bucks a month!"

"That vacancy for a 40k a year mattress tester doesn't exist...."

"I've got to be honest. It's going to be hard to find you a position that offers 40 days of personal time."

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

"Great news! - We've found you a job at a circus..."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

"Typical company, I'm the only woman!!"

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'This is the last time we post job openings,'

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

"The boss told me I have to start at the bottom."

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

'You're one heck of a corporate head-hunter, Ms. Bridwell.'

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

Dolestart - A New Initiative

'Jumping over a candle stick is known as an entry level job.'