Employee Engagement Advocate Pillows

'Communication within the company is really bad according to this report.'

Motivation to work

'Well, I must say I never thought team-building exercises could be such fun.'

"But if you were a real boy you wouldn't be allowed to work such long hours."

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

Why should I take you home instead of your friend? (Republican and Democrat).

'Sex discrimination? What are you talking about?'

'Here are some bonus checks. Distribute them unfairly.'

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

'I've been to better motivational seminars.'

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

'He moved the party from the Grand Hotel to Denny's, and our Christmas bonuses are staple removers with our names on them.'

Suggestion box: 'Build a bigger Complaints box'.

Susan finally becomes assertive with her boss...

'Here's a signed statement from Vince Cable saying we can get rid of underperforming employees more easily.'

"Your employees have lost faith in your ability to pretend to care about them."

"You misread the terms of your employment. Your probation period is 6 years, not 6 months."

Union organizer in a hostile workplace. . .

"I'm going to read a statement and then I'll take questions.''

"She's always like this at this time of the month!"

Suggestion box paper shredder.

Healthy and happy workers are productive workers!

They Even Use Astronomy to Screw Workers

C.E.O.s deserve respect.

'Instead of firing me, he could have tolerated mediocrity a little longer.'

'I just don't get it. The new motivational posters aren't helping at all!'

Self Serve Road Repair.

'Hargreaves - I understand you have an idea for improving staff morale?'

USA Slavery

'We've been given three months notice backdated twelve weeks.'

Obliviotocracy

"Don't forget now. Don't knock 'those people in Washington' anymore. Those people in Washington are now you!!"

'HR fired me because of an 'unstable job demand'. When I demanded a decent wage, they said I was unstable.'

'You're offering me a job, eh? -- does it have portable benefits?'

'Money won't make you happy, Waldron, so instead of a raise, I'm giving you prozac.'