Employee Advocate Pillows

"Let's compromise, you forget about a pay rise and I'll forget about a pay cut."

'You can't sack me just because I'm totally useless. That's discrimination against totally useless people.'

'Here are some bonus checks. Distribute them unfairly.'

"Employees bound to their employer by desperation and fear of unemployment. Now THAT'S my idea of a union!"

Ingrates

"Excuse me, sir. Could I please have a word about the motivational posters?"

"'Bereavement time'? Let me check...No, there's no such thing as 'Bereavement time' in your contract, Rudy."

'HR fired me because of an 'unstable job demand'. When I demanded a decent wage, they said I was unstable.'

'The job still pays peanuts, but since we joined the union, we get larger peanuts.'

Union organizer in a hostile workplace. . .

'We've been given three months notice backdated twelve weeks.'

"The boss threw us a bone. We're responding by throwing him a union application."

Motivation to work

I was thinking about the implications of your brave effort last week to unionize. I didn't really. I was role-playing. Whatever. Do you realize the demise of unions has coincided with a massive decline in the middle class? What? I'm helping chickens cross a road on my iPhone. I'm taking about the income gap! Talkin' 'Bout the Income Gap is sponsored by: The makers of signs, placards, and other protest equipment.

It's a dogs life

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

'Sex discrimination? What are you talking about?'

'Our union contract keeps us from cutting salaries, but nothing prevents us from charging for parking.'

'It is a big day! Ten years ago, yout dad joined the union!'

New Marvel Heroes

'He moved the party from the Grand Hotel to Denny's, and our Christmas bonuses are staple removers with our names on them.'

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

When collective bargaining is outlawed!: 'To work here, you have to wear this metal collar!'

'Here's a signed statement from Vince Cable saying we can get rid of underperforming employees more easily.'

"Your employees have lost faith in your ability to pretend to care about them."

Susan finally becomes assertive with her boss...

"You misread the terms of your employment. Your probation period is 6 years, not 6 months."

Progressive Democrats Like Elizabeth Warren Want a Higher Minimum Wage That Is Way Too Low

"She's always like this at this time of the month!"

'I told you we should have unionized.'

NDAs for non VIPs

"Don't tell the employees, but management has acquired their union."

'Let's be fair and take a vote - how many here think we need a minimum wage increase?'

C.E.O.s deserve respect.

'The Human Right Act bans any cruel of unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite out ENTIRE staff care policy!'