Employee Engagement Manager Pillows

'Instead of firing me, he could have tolerated mediocrity a little longer.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'Everyone in the company wears one, Yomp! It's what keeps us focused!'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

'It's lonely at the top unless you count lawyers.'

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

'I've been to better motivational seminars.'

Suggestion box: 'Build a bigger Complaints box'.

Energy performance certificate nailed to wall exhausts employer.

'You say here that hard work doesn't scare you as long as you hide your eyes.'

'Now that we all agree on the agenda, a show of hands on how many want to keep it hidden.'

Healthy and happy workers are productive workers!

'Communication within the company is really bad according to this report.'

'I just don't get it. The new motivational posters aren't helping at all!'

'He's a Drunk-With-Power drunk...the worst kind!'

'Let's make this a short meeting. I know we all have expensive homes to go to.'

'Don't look at this as a demotion, look at it as the stripping away of your last shred of dignity.'

Wildlife Management.

'Our health plan consists of an hour of free web time to self-diagnose.'

"Wait a minute!! First call my boss and tell him that I'm going to miss the meeting! Then call the ambulance!"

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

"It's terminal? Brill, I was worried my YouTube channel was loosing it edge."

"We can't offer you a golden parachute, however we do offer a very attractive escape hatch."

'The next disciplinary committee might not be so lenient.'

"Now that you are all my little drones, I encourage you to speak my mind."

Factory foreman says: 'Sometimes the machines here do try to take over the world. Last week the coffee maker even had a go.'

Purvison heads our environmentally-conscious growth fund

'Management very much believe in a 'carrot and stick' approach to motivating staff.'

'Sir, we've just received word that our company is not longer a threat to the environment, and you have a squirrel holding on line two.'

"I was reluctant at first to let you introduce art classes to the colony, but the morale of my workers and soldiers has definitely improved!"

CEO (Out to lunch).

"We're a 'green' company. We only hire people with self-sustaining renewable energy."