Employee Engagement Gifts

Suggestion box: 'Build a bigger Complaints box'.

'I just don't get it. The new motivational posters aren't helping at all!'

'I've been to better motivational seminars.'

'Management very much believe in a 'carrot and stick' approach to motivating staff.'

Healthy and happy workers are productive workers!

"The new motivational posters have been unpopular, yet effective."

"I just don't understand why our retention rates are so poor. . .we give staff challenging, important work."

"I was reluctant at first to let you introduce art classes to the colony, but the morale of my workers and soldiers has definitely improved!"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Staff support"

You're my Mona Lisa.

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

Love at First Sight

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

Boss's Desk Says No!

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"