Emotional Support Gourmand T-Shirts

"We all have different ways of dealing with rejection. . . I find going to bed with 10 litres of choc chip ice cream works for me."

Party Animals.

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"How's everything here? Let's start with your earliest childhood memories."

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

I hear you, man. Look, if you need anything, my door is always open.

Gone out...here is a computer simulation of your dinner

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

"Mom, vegetables may help me grow and give me energy, but what if I want to be short and underachieving?"

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

Dijon Vu

'I couldn't put the book down... I had peanut butter and jelly on my hands!'

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

"This is Miss Jones, Doctor - I want you to cheer her up. She's been through hell recently."

'Some people are betting all their savings on me... I can't handle the pressure anymore...'

Capturing a Cook

"Cemetery Pie"

I never had a pony, Dr. Kapuchnik. Get over it, Al. Tastes like chicken.

"I think I'll go home and start some unhealthy eating habits I'll live to regret."

"I don't care how much I own – there's still something unsatisfying about digital Girl Scout Thin Mints."

'Creme Vichyssoise?' 'I'll have a cheese roll.'

'If you're in a hurry, why did you order the snails?'

'Bad news... all our tests came back with you as delicious.'

"It's not having seconds that's the problem. It's having fifths and sixths!"

"Of course only buying 'organic' CAN be expensive! Another pea anyone?"

The Anxious School Drop Off

"I'm a computer programmer. After a few more glasses of wine, that'll seem more interesting."

'Enjoy? Don't tell me what to do.'

"If you'll excuse me, my adventurous palate is at constant war with my delicate ecosystem of gut bacteria."

'We thank you for this food, but we wish you gave us enough sense to avoid all this cholesterol, salt and all these additives.'

'My ex-wife won the lottery! The lottery!'

I don't know what to say, I'm sorry you guys broke up...

"I'm so sorry, I'm afraid he flew too near the candle"

'I'm sorry, but you're just not the man I thought I could turn you into...'