Emotional Support Gourmand Gifts

"We all have different ways of dealing with rejection. . . I find going to bed with 10 litres of choc chip ice cream works for me."

Party Animals.

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

I hear you, man. Look, if you need anything, my door is always open.

Gone out...here is a computer simulation of your dinner

Dijon Vu

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

'I couldn't put the book down... I had peanut butter and jelly on my hands!'

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

"Mom, vegetables may help me grow and give me energy, but what if I want to be short and underachieving?"

"This is Miss Jones, Doctor - I want you to cheer her up. She's been through hell recently."

'Some people are betting all their savings on me... I can't handle the pressure anymore...'

"Cemetery Pie"

Capturing a Cook

"I think I'll go home and start some unhealthy eating habits I'll live to regret."

"I don't care how much I own – there's still something unsatisfying about digital Girl Scout Thin Mints."

'Bad news... all our tests came back with you as delicious.'

'If you're in a hurry, why did you order the snails?'

'Creme Vichyssoise?' 'I'll have a cheese roll.'

"It's not having seconds that's the problem. It's having fifths and sixths!"

The Anxious School Drop Off

"Of course only buying 'organic' CAN be expensive! Another pea anyone?"

"I'm a computer programmer. After a few more glasses of wine, that'll seem more interesting."

'We thank you for this food, but we wish you gave us enough sense to avoid all this cholesterol, salt and all these additives.'

'Enjoy? Don't tell me what to do.'

"If you'll excuse me, my adventurous palate is at constant war with my delicate ecosystem of gut bacteria."

'My ex-wife won the lottery! The lottery!'

I don't know what to say, I'm sorry you guys broke up...

"I'm so sorry, I'm afraid he flew too near the candle"

'I'm sorry, but you're just not the man I thought I could turn you into...'

'Phoning or non phoning?'