Emotional Gourmet Gifts

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

Chicken soup books

Cat eating fish from fishbowl.

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

"I enjoy eating healthy – I just don’t like the food."

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

"It all comes down to the aging and fermentation process."

Stand back - while I whip something up

'Our five-course dinners start with denial, followed by anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.'

'...and that concludes this seminar on healthy living. Now, if anyone cares to join me, I'm off to that new place down the street for some steak and a few beers.'

Salvador Deli

'Not only do you need a good dish to win on this cooking show, you need a good story!'

Frisbee dog catching pizza dough

Chinese Novel Cookie

Man eating his meal with his feet.

Hudson River Crouton

'Oh no wonder, this is Extra Virgin Mary Olive Oil.'

'How come you never bring meatballs?'

"You want fries with that Chardonnay?"

Picasso paints AND eats like a child!

"The Corned Beef Cappuccino needs work."

Why Shirley hates to eat genetic modified Broccoli.

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

'These are exquisite! You simply must give me your recipe.'

'I think our marriage would make a great country song.'

Christmas canape?

". . . ashes to ashes, dust to dust, a handful of ground coriander, the zest of a lemon. . ."

"Everyone, stop looking delicious. The vegans are back and that tofurkey jerky won't keep them back much longer."

"Tonight, I feel like eating something controversial."

Guru on a mountain top with a take away menu

"My aged cheddar died!"

'Yes Sir that is the lowest calorie dish on the menu, the chef has even eaten the fish for you. He says it was wonderful.'

A vampire about to use mayonnaise on his new victim.