Emotional Gourmet Gifts

I never had a pony, Dr. Kapuchnik. Get over it, Al. Tastes like chicken.

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

Chicken soup books

Cat eating fish from fishbowl.

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

"I enjoy eating healthy – I just don’t like the food."

"It all comes down to the aging and fermentation process."

Stand back - while I whip something up

'Our five-course dinners start with denial, followed by anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.'

'...and that concludes this seminar on healthy living. Now, if anyone cares to join me, I'm off to that new place down the street for some steak and a few beers.'

Frisbee dog catching pizza dough

'Not only do you need a good dish to win on this cooking show, you need a good story!'

Salvador Deli

Chinese Novel Cookie

Man eating his meal with his feet.

Hudson River Crouton

"You want fries with that Chardonnay?"

"The Corned Beef Cappuccino needs work."

'How come you never bring meatballs?'

Picasso paints AND eats like a child!

"Omigod! It's the breakfast I made him for his birthday!"

'Oh no wonder, this is Extra Virgin Mary Olive Oil.'

Why Shirley hates to eat genetic modified Broccoli.

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

'These are exquisite! You simply must give me your recipe.'

'I think our marriage would make a great country song.'

Guru on a mountain top with a take away menu

Christmas canape?

'Don't give up hope - Anthony Bourdain is bound to show up sooner or later.'

"Everyone, stop looking delicious. The vegans are back and that tofurkey jerky won't keep them back much longer."

"Tonight, I feel like eating something controversial."

". . . ashes to ashes, dust to dust, a handful of ground coriander, the zest of a lemon. . ."

"My aged cheddar died!"

A vampire about to use mayonnaise on his new victim.