Emotional Health Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Could we up the dosage? I still have feelings."

Emotional Incontinence - Emotional Illiteracy

Out of Sorts

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Licensed Therapist

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

"You left your demons here last week."

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

"You think you're a monster because you have poor self image."

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

'My building inspector just doesn't understand me.'

Exposed Intimacy Safety Vulnerability Hidden Enmity

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

Woman walking into Inner Beauty Salon.

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

"Why do you feel you have an inner conflict?"

'Why am I such a grouch?'

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

Cliche Amusement Park. This park is no fun at all --- It's too much like real life! Look, that ride is called "The Emotional Roller Coaster." Over there is "Life's Ups and Downs"! ... and "The Mood Swings"! Look! The good old "Tunnel of Love"! Finally! A ride that's just a fun escape! Out of ardor. "Out of ardor" --- More real life. (Published originally Sept. 4, 2005.)

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

"We added it just for the millenials."

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

"You must learn to let go."

'Now while you're cranking the Jack in the Box Tommy, I want you to tell me your thoughts.'

Yes, yes, let your aggressions out, but not here!

If dogs were psychiatrists.

"Ever since the accident, I can't seem to get it together."

"When you hold me like this, you make me feel I can do anything."

"You really are one hell of a therapy dog."

"I'm referring you to another therapy dog."