Emotion Whisperer Pillows

"You need to stop bottling it up."

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

He doesn't howl at the moon. He prefers to howl into the void.

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

'It WAS rather unkind of you to hide his bottle-opener, Mrs Jones.'

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

Relationship Issues.

"Trust me, come low tide everyone will want these seats."

'You've come a long way with your anger this year. In fact, I feel that you are ready to meet a special friend of mine...'

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

'He's never there for me.'

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

'I think both of you are always too busy: You don't talk anymore...'

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

"Living brings up a lot of issues for him."

'...and where did you bury the bone?'

"I'm the ghost of Christmas Tree Future, and honestly, it doesn't turn out well for you."

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

'Why are they called the opposite sex?'

"Excuse me for a moment. It's my idiot husband."

"If only girls came with drop-down menus and online help. . ."

Interpreters.

'If another barman cracks the joke about not serving spirits, I'm leaving ...'

'It's my job to be nosy!'

'He's not there at the moment so please leave a message.'

"You have the right to remain silent, anytime you cry can be used against you...."