Emotion Whisperer T-Shirts

"You need to stop bottling it up."

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

'It WAS rather unkind of you to hide his bottle-opener, Mrs Jones.'

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

"Trust me, come low tide everyone will want these seats."

Relationship Issues.

'He's never there for me.'

'You've come a long way with your anger this year. In fact, I feel that you are ready to meet a special friend of mine...'

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

'I think both of you are always too busy: You don't talk anymore...'

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

"I'm the ghost of Christmas Tree Future, and honestly, it doesn't turn out well for you."

'...and where did you bury the bone?'

"Living brings up a lot of issues for him."

'Why are they called the opposite sex?'

"Excuse me for a moment. It's my idiot husband."

"You have the right to remain silent, anytime you cry can be used against you...."

'He's not there at the moment so please leave a message.'

'If another barman cracks the joke about not serving spirits, I'm leaving ...'

Interpreters.

"If only girls came with drop-down menus and online help. . ."

'It's my job to be nosy!'

Freudian vs Behavior therapist.