Emotion Manipulator T-Shirts

'Hey! We've never tried a 'pity' strategy before...'

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"Before texting we had to write letters by hand, and before emojis we honestly just bottled up our emotions."

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

"You need to stop bottling it up."

Woman Juggling Emojis

'Tell them there'll be no retaliation, then check with the chiefs of staff, the media and our major allies what leeway we have in the adapted dissuasion department.'

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

A man sews broken hearts back together.

"I care that you care that I care about you caring... but I'm not sure if your caring is enough caring to make up for what I'm not caring enough about."

"Often, it's sullen and withdrawn, and then, suddenly, it becomes hostile and vengeful."

"This isn't his audition...he's telling us about being an actor."

"Whoa, too much information!"

'Sometimes, when I'm feeling unappreciated, I'll fake a system-wide data crash.'

'I'm concerned. I'm happy!

'Everytime I look at another man he hits the ceiling.'

"A huge breakthrough from our research and development team. . . they've figure out a way to fool all of the people all of the time!"

'Great fireworks! Reminds me of the coach after we lost the game!'

Pretty Soon: Increasingly dim TV newscasters will need help knowing what emotions to convey when they are 'reporting'.

Throw-Your-Voice Mail.

A clown drags a trestle theatre mask behind him.

'We've been going together for six months now, Rupert -- When are you going to open up?'

Hypnotherapy: prices subject to change without conscious notice.

'A spin doctor just isn't enough any more, Senator - you need a choreographer.'

'My profession has probably been transformed again just since we started this session.'

"Here's your words for today ladies."

'He's been trying to control the television for years.'

"White chocolate mocha, please." "Just the drink? Or the combo?" "What's in the combo?" "You get the white chocolate mocha, plus a ham sandwich, plus a bag of chips, for $17." "Seems pricy." "Of course. That's why I only recommend our premium combos to people who can afford them." "One look at you and I could tell you're a man of means. You walk with such swagger -- such regal elegance." "I wasn't wrong about you, was I?" "Give me two combos." "Just two?" "Very. Bad. Man."

"Honey, you’re overreacting. I said I think I might be gay."

Sally, Jim - you'll handle daily speech writing. Vince, as usual, will be in charge of attack ads.'

'It might help with our friends in the media if you hang that upside down.'

"You're great at expressing your emotions. What you're bottling up now is job skills."

"Please scream inside your heart"

Here we like to keep anger tied up.