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Tyne Daly

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

Showbiz Awards

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"We're following Carrot Top."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

Cat fishing whilst fish fly overhead.

Silence of the Chickens...

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

Reese Witherspoon

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

"I said slime."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

"Not now, Oliver."

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

"Scuba cow"

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

Mayhem, Inc. Part 1: Prologue

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"