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Showbiz Awards

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"We're following Carrot Top."

Cat fishing whilst fish fly overhead.

Silence of the Chickens...

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

"I said slime."

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

"Scuba cow"

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"Keep looking. She's here somewhere."

"Not now, Oliver."

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'