Award Show Aficionado T-Shirts

"And the award for best newcomer goes to..."

"First, I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

"I wanna thank everyone who believed in me!"

BAFTA/Oscar lack of diversity

Accountancy Awards - "And the winner is..."

"I want to thank all the little people."

"I'd like to thank my mum..."

"Unfortunately, Lance can't be here tonight to accept this award. But it's a thrill and an honor for me to accept it on his behalf on my way over to his place with his small onion and pepperoni."

"At an event some chick publicly badmouthed my husband. I didn't run on stage to knock the lady down because she was right."

"The Academy aint gonna like that... that slap will resound around the whole world!"

Golden Globes

Red Carpet

Showbiz Awards

"And the award for best interruption of an oscar speech goes to. . . The Woodwinds."

"I don't know if it's the end of the foreign film winner or the start of'The Shape of Water'."

"And the winner of the second clapper board electrician's assistant is..."

"And the award for the best interruption of an oscar speech goes to...The woodwinds."

'And now the award for the best product placement in a motion picture...'

"He had a few drinks while planning where to meet for a drink before the pre-award drinks"

The Oscars

'And finally,the award for most nauseating acceptance speech goes to...'

Health Insurance Awards Hangover.

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

'And the 'Antsy' for ruining the most picnics in a year goes to...'

'And the winner of the Nobel prize for nepotism is...Alfred Nobel the third!'

'Ooh, I love your overalls, who are you wearing?'

Academy Awards

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Your Cheek Attacked My Hand!

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'Guess what? I won again.'

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'