Award Show Aficionado Mugs

"And the award for best newcomer goes to..."

"First, I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

"I wanna thank everyone who believed in me!"

BAFTA/Oscar lack of diversity

Accountancy Awards - "And the winner is..."

"I want to thank all the little people."

"I'd like to thank my mum..."

"Unfortunately, Lance can't be here tonight to accept this award. But it's a thrill and an honor for me to accept it on his behalf on my way over to his place with his small onion and pepperoni."

"At an event some chick publicly badmouthed my husband. I didn't run on stage to knock the lady down because she was right."

Golden Globes

Red Carpet

Showbiz Awards

'And now the award for the best product placement in a motion picture...'

"He had a few drinks while planning where to meet for a drink before the pre-award drinks"

'And finally,the award for most nauseating acceptance speech goes to...'

Health Insurance Awards Hangover.

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

'And the winner of the Nobel prize for nepotism is...Alfred Nobel the third!'

'Ooh, I love your overalls, who are you wearing?'

Academy Awards

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'Guess what? I won again.'

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

Soccer coach of the year.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

'We're looking for an award-winning sales professional. Those are trophies. You're overqualified.'

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

Barbie Oscars

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

"...and I'd like to thank all my patients for being so ill..."