Emergency Services Worker Gifts

Firemen rush into burning building, one at back is preparing to toast marshmallows.

"Whilst I can sympathize, madam. . . being quarantined with your family members is not what we categorize as a 'Hostage Situation'."

'Would you mind calling me an ambulance before you tweet about this?'

Fire engine responding to an emergency.

Fire fighting will always be dangerous as long as you have to drive to fires.

'Which level of service do you require, aloof, indifferent, unsympathetic or just can't be arsed?'

'But you got a second interview, that's something.'

Mountain Rescue.

"Now got a pocket knife and see if you can open your chest cavity."

"That's correct. Neither is wearing a mask and they aren't social distancing."

"What's the exit strategy for this clappy thingy?"

"What are you lookin' at? Never seen a routine fire drill before?"

"I've been here half an hour - call the Coast guard!"

"I don't care if the goldfish does love it - call a plumber!"

"I'm still getting an echo. Try calling us back again."

'I just dialled 999 and got a call centre in Bangalore.'

Hydrant Fire

Unexpected Error

Know your Emergency Vehicles. . . Ambulance, Fire Truck and Emergency Parkas.

'Sorry, dear, but I had to bring home some work!'

'No need to thank me, ma'am.'

'This is 911! Sorry we can't take your call right now, our place is on fire!!'

'Hi! I'm on the cactus!'

"I don't beleive it - he's forgot the soda again!"

Moderately Quick Sand

'We're short-handed so it's a good job you were on roller skates when it happened!'

"We've stopped arm wrestling in case we needed an ambulance."

Sometimes It's Better Not to Know

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Natural Disasters

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

IRMA Hurricane Recovery in Cuba

Protect Victims of Domestic and Sexual Violence

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"