Emergency Ruminator Gifts

In Case of Accidents

"I'm a busy man Jenkins. This better be important!"

"In the room the women come and go. Talking of Michelangelo."

"I think...therefore I am. I think."

Broken down ambulance means horse and man have to carry stretcher

"I really like smart women."

'The secret to happiness is awaiting F.D.A. approval.'

Head in the sand.

'Have you got something that says, 'I've got a headache?''

"My psychiatrist advised me to pay taxes quarterly. That way my seething resentment is spread evenly over a year."

"I see you're on a date at the moment but perhaps later we could meet for a latte."

"Just like he did when he was alive the lazy sod!"

'Yes, most humans call us pests or vermin, but a few of them love us as pets...'

"I hope we haven't come at a bad time."

"He doesn't seem to be accepting retirement too well."

'Gail, my dear, please don't talk about sex - my God this is a restaurant!'

'Your 401k doesn't look a day over 20.'

"So make me an offer."

"Construction. Expect delays Jan 1 - Dec 31."

Oops, I spilled coffee on my resume. Uh-oh, that's a stain on your record!

Poker game called off due to family emergency. ? ?

"The salesman was right, a carpet with a darker colour will hide all manner of sins."

"To meet the government requirements, I'm passing the extra costs to the consumer and our employees."

In case of emergency break bread.

"On the upside, Sarge, we've broken our record time for getting to the scene of an accident."

Unable to resuscitate the stranger with his breath, Leon quickly grabbed his leaf blower.

"How are people at my reunion going to recognize me? I look in the mirror and even I don't recognize me."

The end is not near - so cope!

"My nose always bleeds when I'm stressed."

FOR RENT: 1-BR. APT. W/GARAGE. ! !

"I was thinking of giving you a raise, Caldron. But, then I decided I think too much."