Emergency Gear Enthusiast Pillows

'Obsolete: Any state of the art equipment you bought last year for $250,000.'

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"Let me through – I'm morbidly curious!"

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Tsunami Evac Route

"It's the Coast Guard - they want to know how many life-jackets we have onboard."

"The blaze has taken hold on the eight floor Chief. The C.E.O., V.P. and C.O.O. are trapped in the boardroom!!"

Paramedics.

"My God, now what?"

We can't call an ambulance. He doesn't allow personal calls on company time.

Fire Backwards.

'Kitchen! Chicken Bone! Hurry!!' - Rent-A-Surgeon

'Oh - It's you.'

'Now, lift and squeeze the diaphragm.' ... 'Sweet.'

"I've got a pulse!"

Why dogs hate CPR.

Millwall - Hard Hat Area.

'I'm a doctor... This man needs someone who can grant me immunity from liability, and FAST!'

'Careful,George.You know how it makes you sick when you travel backwards.'

'Hamster Swat Team.'

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

"Quick! Turn the siren on!"

'So do you want one with an accelerator, or one with brakes?'

"We ran into a marathon."

'Hold it, you can cancel that STAT call.'

"Whoa...not so fast! First of all please tell me your address, your health insurance number, and spell your name for me, Mr. HelpI'mBleedingToDeath."

Did our request for different safety hats get approval?

No, it does not look stupid, and yes, you are going to wear a helmet.

"It's okay, honey. It's only a mailman."

'Please, everyone, stand back to give the register some air. We've had a glitch.'

'Just this once sir, we need the overtime.'

"Hello, A and E, which department do you need, stabbing, shooting or general GBH?"

Man with mobile phone says: 'I can't call for help, I'm filming this for the TV news.'

'I said he needs an ambulance! Not ambiance!'