Emergency Situation Enthusiast Pillows

"Clear!"

"Hello, A and E, which department do you need, stabbing, shooting or general GBH?"

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Being Serenading in Casualty

"Let me through – I'm morbidly curious!"

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

"First save Mister chomp-chomp!"

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Tsunami Evac Route

"The blaze has taken hold on the eight floor Chief. The C.E.O., V.P. and C.O.O. are trapped in the boardroom!!"

Paramedics.

"My God, now what?"

We can't call an ambulance. He doesn't allow personal calls on company time.

Break Glass in Case of Fire: Tiny Firemen.

'Kitchen! Chicken Bone! Hurry!!' - Rent-A-Surgeon

'Oh - It's you.'

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

Why dogs hate CPR.

'I'm a doctor... This man needs someone who can grant me immunity from liability, and FAST!'

"I've got a pulse!"

'Now, lift and squeeze the diaphragm.' ... 'Sweet.'

"Quick! Turn the siren on!"

Hospital: Accident and Emergency and On Purpose and Suffering Nicely.

'Hold it, you can cancel that STAT call.'

'So do you want one with an accelerator, or one with brakes?'

"We ran into a marathon."

"He fought like hell."

"Whoa...not so fast! First of all please tell me your address, your health insurance number, and spell your name for me, Mr. HelpI'mBleedingToDeath."

'Just this once sir, we need the overtime.'

'Please, everyone, stand back to give the register some air. We've had a glitch.'

Man with mobile phone says: 'I can't call for help, I'm filming this for the TV news.'

"Do you know your name? Do you know where you are? Do you remember the accident? Do you know you had a hole in your underpants?"

'You'd better clear out some rooms, nurse. He jumped off a bridge, and all his friends are behind him.'