Emergency Funsters Pillows

Drat. Your bolts are metric,but my tools aren't.

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

'The puppy just downloaded on your computer keyboard.'

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

Climbing with the baby

"I don't get it! They're both diurnal, so why on earth would they bring back from the hospital a baby that's awake all night?"

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

'Look. A mom with a handy carrying case.'

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

'Let me through, let me through, I'm a computer geek.'

"Please let go of Daddy's chest hair."

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

"How do you like my 'Pop art'?"

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'Did you know that turkeys and dinosaurs are closely related? Meet my cousin, Lenny!'

'Congratulations Mrs Marrow, it's a courgette.'

"You spoil that boy."

'If Aunt Arctica is on the bottom of the world, does that mean Uncle Artica is on top of the world?'

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

'Mom never said she was a clown!'

Outlaw Quilting Bees

"I'm the mommy and he's the daddy and Teddy is the #@&&!# kid who keeps us from having time to do anything!"

In case of emergency...break glass: Crisis Manual.