Emergency Funsters Pillows

Drat. Your bolts are metric,but my tools aren't.

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

Cheeze Wiz.

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

"I don't get it! They're both diurnal, so why on earth would they bring back from the hospital a baby that's awake all night?"

Climbing with the baby

'The puppy just downloaded on your computer keyboard.'

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

'Look. A mom with a handy carrying case.'

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

"How do you like my 'Pop art'?"

'Let me through, let me through, I'm a computer geek.'

"Please let go of Daddy's chest hair."

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

'No honey, you can't sell him on ebay.'

'Look, honey, the baby's got your mouth.'

'Congratulations Mrs Marrow, it's a courgette.'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

"You spoil that boy."

'Did you know that turkeys and dinosaurs are closely related? Meet my cousin, Lenny!'

'If Aunt Arctica is on the bottom of the world, does that mean Uncle Artica is on top of the world?'

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

'Mom never said she was a clown!'

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

'I knew I should have used mistletoe instead of catnip.'

"I'm the mommy and he's the daddy and Teddy is the #@&&!# kid who keeps us from having time to do anything!"

Outlaw Quilting Bees