Emergency Humor Enthusiast Pillows

In case of emergency...break glass: Crisis Manual.

Emergency Marketer

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

Ask A Silly Question.

"Let me through – I'm morbidly curious!"

'Let me through, let me through, I'm a computer geek.'

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Tsunami Evac Route

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

'Hand me the 'desperates'.'

"My God, now what?"

Internet Shoplifting

Fire Backwards.

'Kitchen! Chicken Bone! Hurry!!' - Rent-A-Surgeon

'Oh - It's you.'

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

"I've got a pulse!"

Spam.

'I'm a doctor... This man needs someone who can grant me immunity from liability, and FAST!'

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

"We ran into a marathon."

A bowls player bowling a bomb

A man walks three dogs at gunpoint

"Whoa...not so fast! First of all please tell me your address, your health insurance number, and spell your name for me, Mr. HelpI'mBleedingToDeath."

Slug Romance

This summer, Mother Nature goes nuts.

Amateur Spam.

'Just this once sir, we need the overtime.'

'Well you know the old saying... if you can't beat 'em you can always google someone who can.'

Save the bacon,

Man with mobile phone says: 'I can't call for help, I'm filming this for the TV news.'

'Which is it, Bill? You had a terrible accident and survived without a scratch. Or, you had a terrible accident and lost a lot of blood?'