Emergency Service Jokesters Pillows

'Bill really wishes the department could afford to replace the extension ladder.'

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

"I've called this meeting so I could see all of you squirm."

'Let me through, let me through, I'm a computer geek.'

'I've had so many transplants, I feel like a garden nursery.'

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

"Fortunately, we have an excellent selection!"

'It's always about you isn't it, George? Wouldn't you like to hear about the terrible day I've had for a change?'

Drat. Your bolts are metric,but my tools aren't.

In case of emergency...break glass: Crisis Manual.

"Open mike night"

Doctor: 'Mind if I cut in?'

'Just because you fell in love on company time is no reason why the company has to give you time off to get married on.'

Plastic Surgery

'He still doesn't know how serious an amputation he's had, nurse, so try not to act too shocked.'

Save the bacon,

Emergency Marketer

'No I'm going to do this one standing.

Hospital Reception - Ring for assistance

"911? My husband's unresponsive."

Private Consultant: Keep Out!

Emergency

'Be honest, how bad is it?'

"Okay wait, it just came in. I guess he did text for help."

Help. Forgot All My Account Passwords.

'Those flashers make no sense to me. The less they have, the more they want to show it.'

Ultrasound Monitor makes Doctors Laugh.

'Okay... who's the triple by-pass and who's the hang nail?'

'Emergency - put me through to the yoga club immediately!'

'Did you stick your tongue out?' - 'I only licked a stamp.'

Moderately Quick Sand

'What exactly is this darling, in case I have to describe to later to a doctor?'