Emergency Dispatcher Gifts

"I tried 911. They're only accepting the seventh caller."

"Suspicious package under the Christmas tree? OK, please just stay calm and remain on the line."

'Boy! Those 911 operators sure get snooty when you call them at 4 a.m. and ask them to translate the words to Frere Jacques.'

"What did you say? Fine? Five? File? Oh...FIRE!!"

"This is the emergency hotline, unfortunately we can not respond to your call right now because we are having our own emergency!"

"Please hold the line."

"Sorry, it will have to be fire, police or ambulance. Superman is busy right now."

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Natural Disasters

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

IRMA Hurricane Recovery in Cuba

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

Protect Victims of Domestic and Sexual Violence

Coronavirus Global Alert

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

'I know it's overdue but I've been in Intensive Care.'

"I came as soon as I got the message!"

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

'Swiss Army Rescue Service. How can we help?'

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

In a twinkling, Rover shed his leash and became Duke, Wonder Dog of Kansas city.

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

'No days off, no paid overtime, no benefits...this job is killing me!'

Frontline health workers

"What if the cat stuck in the tree has a gun? Is that an emergency?"

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

"Daisy, that fall broke my leg pretty badly. You need to go get help, girl - oh, what a big stretch! Who’s a good stretcher? Daisy’s a good stretcher! What a good girl…"

"Ticket and passport, please."

Don't worry, the first 30 years as a paramedic are the hardest.

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

'If I don't use the charcoal grill, I get a carbon offset and the fire department gets a day off.'

Things Mothers don't want to hear from their five year olds...

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."