Embracer Of Paradoxes Pillows

'What's happiness, it can't buy money.'

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

'Massive unpredictability is absolutely certain, maybe.'

"What kind of tomorrow is it? — I don't know, when I wake up, it's already today."

'I'll grow old gracefully when I want to and not any sooner.'

Jackson Pollock makes a mistake: 'Guess I'll have to start over.'

'He's doing it again.'

The Meaning of Life

New Capitalism

Fortune teller predicts a bigger family for worried parents.

"I'm sorry son, I don't know how to answer whether today is opposite day or not."

Man rummaging through a TV set throwing out bits of paper

Letter to God

"Carl had the mouth of a truck driver... Sorry, Carl, I just can't make no sense from all those words comin’ out your pie hole. A truck driver with a Ph.D. in mathematical logic."

"Teacher believes in performance-enhancing hugs."

Zeno Gives Directions

"You shouldn't be so afraid of the dentist."

"It's only a matter of time before we realize that time doesn't exist."

"That's right, Mr. Jenkins, we rejected your membership application because you wrote your name on it..."

"That explains why Larry is the most confident employee in our company!"

Feel good loser. NON WINNER

'Hurray! I'm a baby!'

Clancy: Good Idea

Salman Rushdie

'Congratulations, your days of avoiding the real world are finally over.'

"It's incredible what nonsense people will believe as long as there are others who also believe."

Organised Crime / Disorganised Crime

The Artist

"Surely a total abstainer would abstain from abstention?"

Smoking in the Paradise.

Early one morning The Grim and The Happy Reaper pay Alice a visit.