Embracer Of The Absurd Pillows

Elephant and large lady both balancing on the scales. They weigh the same.

"It's incredible what nonsense people will believe as long as there are others who also believe."

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

"Now you can send it."

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

Bird in a chair with a human in a cage.

Baseball.

UFO and snowman

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

Operation.

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

The pop-culture critic's annual existential crisis."

'I'll grow old gracefully when I want to and not any sooner.'

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

"Apparently he only uses fugitive colours."

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

Minefield! Thank you for treading carefully.

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

Trapeze artists commuting

"Is there any way we could describe this bit of old tart that would make a Russian oligarch pay £2 million for it?"

A patient, a doctor and a deep sea diver

Albert should have known that cactuses rarely have change. Besides, they prefer jazz.

'You're too fussy - the coffee isn't THAT bad!'

"I was going to call you but I remembered I left some empty oxygen canisters on Mt. Everest."

"How the hell are you?"

'Man, this elevator goes on forever...'

After his 'Activity Weekend' Uncle Reg was a changed man.

A Heated Argument

Tourist is told to go home by a monument