Embracer Of Awkward Moments Pillows

'I checked that birds and bees stuff on the internet, Dad -- it says you're full of baloney.'

'Miss Walker called me gifted in front of the whole class! How am I going to live that down?'

Showbiz Awards

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"I was a lot happier with the elephant in the room."

Always an awkward moment when you meet a Dung Beetle...

"You and your daft inventions."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

'Well this is awkward.'

"I suppose I should have let a few minutes elapse between declaring my love for you and announcing that I also loved lobster."

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

"Such a cute doggie! And I'll bet you make the cutest poopies too, don't you?"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."

"Are you blushing?!"

"Say these things, don't think them!"

"On a scale of 1-10, how painfully awkward is this?"

"If that girl sent over a double cappuccino, maybe you should go talk to her!"

Speed Dating Disasters

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

Baldo's How to Be Uncool: No. 5. Forget how hot the coffee is while you're thinking how cool you look sitting in a coffee shop.

'By the way Adrian, it unfastens at the front.'

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

'Look. . . for the last time, I'm not playin' 'footsie' with you!'

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

"I think that one is a little too honest."

"Of course mating is natural. It's just not the kind of thing you want to see your parents doing."

'It's our first date. You don't know me well enough to ask if I'm getting enough fiber.'