Email Sleuth Gifts

The origins of the Email Money Scam...

This is not a scam. Send money and receive authentic 'This is Not A Scam' certificate."

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Careful! He knows computers."

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

Clickbait

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

If at first you don't succeed call it version 1.0

"I've entered your PIN for you. "

Computer Crimes

"Google gets thousands of requests each day to erase links. Most of them seem to go back to my website."

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

Tiger discovers the online wildlife trade.

'It's something to do with a Microsoft copyright infringement.'

'Gimme all your cache!'

'Hey, somebody's been accessing MY email too!'

"...Software upgrade provides a seamless transition from simple functionality to multi-platform confusion, chaos and frustration..."

"I'm just sitting here collecting vast amounts of metadata. And what are you up to?...Oh, I already know."

"Your call may be monitored by the CIA, NSA, Russians, Chinese, space aliens..."

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

"Don't mind me, folks, I'm just here for regular system maintenance."

"They'll never guess how we stole their data."

"Remember when they used to call it the 'private sector?'"

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

"Ed always wears a poker face. His specialty is password encryption at the NSA."

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

CIA Recommended TVs

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

I'd rather be phishing.