Email Sleuth Pillows

The origins of the Email Money Scam...

This is not a scam. Send money and receive authentic 'This is Not A Scam' certificate."

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Careful! He knows computers."

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

Clickbait

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

If at first you don't succeed call it version 1.0

Computer Crimes

"I've entered your PIN for you. "

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

Tiger discovers the online wildlife trade.

'It's something to do with a Microsoft copyright infringement.'

'Gimme all your cache!'

'Hey, somebody's been accessing MY email too!'

"...Software upgrade provides a seamless transition from simple functionality to multi-platform confusion, chaos and frustration..."

"Don't mind me, folks, I'm just here for regular system maintenance."

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

"Your call may be monitored by the CIA, NSA, Russians, Chinese, space aliens..."

"I'm just sitting here collecting vast amounts of metadata. And what are you up to?...Oh, I already know."

I'd rather be phishing.

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'

"Ed always wears a poker face. His specialty is password encryption at the NSA."

"They'll never guess how we stole their data."

"Hello, I am a Nigerian Prince and I need your help!!! Please send me $500 and your bank routing number. You will rewarded with 10% of 12.7 million dollars and my undying friendship. Best wishes, Prince John Barron."

"Remember when they used to call it the 'private sector?'"

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

"With all the cybercrimes corporate had to bring in a new guy, Supergeek."

"I've memorized so many passwords, things are starting to get weird."