Online Sleuth Pillows

"I looked up my symptoms on the internet and I'm worried that I might be dead."

Hypochondriac at two computers. One reads 'Internet diagnosis', other says 'Second opinion'.

"I've already go t a diagnosis from homedoc.com..."

'I see you have some blended content. Some of it's tue, some of it's false.'

'The web is a great educational tool for wine lovers. Right now, Jim is learning how much his brother spent on the bottle he gave for his birthday.'

'I think Duncan's so right for you, now I've done the web check,'

Private data theft

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

$1: Family Secrets

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Careful! He knows computers."

"So who is this First pet?"

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

'You've been killing files again.'

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

Computer Crimes

"I've entered your PIN for you. "

Tiger discovers the online wildlife trade.

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

"Remember when, on the Internet, nobody knew who you were?"

"Our system's been cracked. How is that even possible?"

'Gimme all your cache!'

'Hey, somebody's been accessing MY email too!'

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

"Don't mind me, folks, I'm just here for regular system maintenance."

"I'm just sitting here collecting vast amounts of metadata. And what are you up to?...Oh, I already know."

"Your call may be monitored by the CIA, NSA, Russians, Chinese, space aliens..."

"Hello, I am a Nigerian Prince and I need your help!!! Please send me $500 and your bank routing number. You will rewarded with 10% of 12.7 million dollars and my undying friendship. Best wishes, Prince John Barron."

"Light at the end of the tunnel!"

"I've memorized so many passwords, things are starting to get weird."

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'