Email Efficiency Expert Pillows

"This could have just been an email."

"He must be a smart phone executive."

"My email is down... talk to me."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

Out and In.

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

'I'm sending another scam email requesting money to help free Willy...'

"A one-word email reply... classic power move."

"This works, so why do we need to spend all that energy building a nest?"

Motivation to work

Maybe clean out your wallet

'Everyone in the company wears one, Yomp! It's what keeps us focused!'

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

Cat shoes: For those who are too busy to do their own walking.

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

...The computer says you can handle 20 more work

Spam in Hell.

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

The paperless office sign covered in post-it notes

It come's to my attention that you have been doing the work of two men.

'Hey! I sad, 'You've got mail!''

"Is there an option to make my out-of-office message permanent?"

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."