Email Efficiency Advocate Pillows

"This could have been an e-mail."

"My email is down... talk to me."

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

Out and In.

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

Motivation to work

'Everyone in the company wears one, Yomp! It's what keeps us focused!'

"This works, so why do we need to spend all that energy building a nest?"

"A one-word email reply... classic power move."

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

Cat shoes: For those who are too busy to do their own walking.

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

...The computer says you can handle 20 more work

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

Spam in Hell.

'Hey! I sad, 'You've got mail!''

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

It come's to my attention that you have been doing the work of two men.

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

'The worst thing is not having access to your e-mail.'

Executive Asks Death To Wait

'It says it works so fast, it's accumulated seven thousand years of vacation with pay.'

'Well I've finished the project on time and on budget!' 'Oh, that means I've given you too much time and too much money!'

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob