Elite Critique Admirer T-Shirts

During the Holiday season, Mr. Arthur Jeffries takes a little time to think of those who are less fortunate.

Reading my Critics

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

"What's wrong, girl? Trouble? Rachel can't decide which private school to attend?" "Upper West Side Lassie"

Filling the Missile Gap

Final words on gravestones.

An acceptable level of TV violence.

The Real Russian history

"Well...I notice a little criticism on my leadership style..."

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

Cartoon Editor: No, No, No, No, No, No, Maybe.

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

Animal Olympics: 'What do you say next year we have some non-cheetah races?'

'Too many cliches? Now hold your horses!'

The Man of Taste.

A man is looking at a sign saying Exhibition of art exhibition jargon.

'That dress certainly matches your eyes.'

Editor

Art is a cruel mistress.

'Let's go upstairs and make love. I can't do both.'

"Do you mind if I give you feedback?"

"I just love your use of lying"

'Your trouble is that you don't appreciate good food.'

"And this is where we bottle our rage.

Ezra Pound

'I really don't see the point?'

"Your earlier work was better."

"Is it a witty and insightful exploration of the zeitgeist of 'boundaries' or is it in fact, the way out?"

"Well, the x-rays show you have a little arthritis in your hands, but mostly they're just poorly drawn."

"This is an intervention. It's clear that you've resumed your habit of reading the reviews."