Elite Critique Admirer Gifts

During the Holiday season, Mr. Arthur Jeffries takes a little time to think of those who are less fortunate.

Reading my Critics

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

Filling the Missile Gap

"What's wrong, girl? Trouble? Rachel can't decide which private school to attend?" "Upper West Side Lassie"

Final words on gravestones.

An acceptable level of TV violence.

The Real Russian history

"Well...I notice a little criticism on my leadership style..."

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

Cartoon Editor: No, No, No, No, No, No, Maybe.

Animal Olympics: 'What do you say next year we have some non-cheetah races?'

'Too many cliches? Now hold your horses!'

The Man of Taste.

A man is looking at a sign saying Exhibition of art exhibition jargon.

'That dress certainly matches your eyes.'

"I just love your use of lying"

Ezra Pound

Art is a cruel mistress.

'Your trouble is that you don't appreciate good food.'

'Let's go upstairs and make love. I can't do both.'

"And this is where we bottle our rage.

Editor

New Jersey Cops Gone Wild

"Do you mind if I give you feedback?"

The Artificial Intelligentsia

"Your earlier work was better."

"Is it a witty and insightful exploration of the zeitgeist of 'boundaries' or is it in fact, the way out?"

"Do you mind if I put this on instagram?"

'I really don't see the point?'

Mary McCarthy.

Reaction to movie Brokeback Mountain.

"Well, the x-rays show you have a little arthritis in your hands, but mostly they're just poorly drawn."