Cinematic Critique Admirer Gifts

Reaction to movie Brokeback Mountain.

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"Bloody hell!"

"Housekeeping?!"

Reese Witherspoon

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

Standard endings for sci-fi movies...

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

Buster Keaton

"Stick Figure" "Stick Figure II" "Stick Figures" "Stick Figure: The Reawakening"

Martin Scorsese Roasts Your Fandom

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

"And to think I always thought you walked with an ominous elegance like Henry Fonda."

"You're right, Son. This movie did have a great cast."

The Wickerman (Hollywood style)

"Every good scene in that move was in the coming attractions...why did we even bother to come watch it?"

"I preferred the graphic novel of the origin story of the original prequel."

"I LOVE this business! Just when you think you've discovered our culture's lowest common denominator, along comes a crazy genius like you to show us how wrong our math was!"

'Oh man, every time.'

"He thinks that if they really want to smash the stereotype then he should be a shoe-in for the next Bond."

"But only during rehearsal."

Woody Allen

"Oh, it's just a corny old bee movie."

Animal Olympics: 'What do you say next year we have some non-cheetah races?'

'Eddy - For Heavens sake, stop watching Pirates-of-the-Caribbean-movies!'

"'Superman legacy' was awful. Just awful!"

"I didn't think much of the plot, but I like the product placement."

"When did movies start being dumb all year round?"

Film Critic

'The author must have had film rights in mind when he chose the title.'

'Rent two 'feel good' movies, and call me in the morning.'

There's nothing awesome to see at the movies these days. What're you talking about? Avengers 2 just came out. I know. It's been out for like an entire weekend. It's old news. The next blockbuster is "Mad Max," and that's not out until the 15th! Hollywood is totally neglecting the entire May 4th-to-May-15th window! That kind of gaping hole is unconscionable. You can always watch "In the Name of My Daughter."