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Animal Olympics: 'What do you say next year we have some non-cheetah races?'

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"Please excuse our appearance while our records are being impounded."

Pop up begger.

Boris Johnson lies his way out of trouble

"The school construction budget is so small we can't even afford to build a snowman."

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

" 'How I Spent My Sabbatical,' by Professor Harvey Brinkman."

"Do I take it that we can't be guaranteed your vote in the forthcoming election?"

Teacher to student: 'I taught your father. He owes me $3,000 for therapy.'

'I'm all talked out. Let's look into some gene therapy.'

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"This is the future of logistics. Thanks to our new technology this parcel can miss-send itself to somewhere in Kazakhstan."

"Excuse me - could you tell me which recession we are in at the moment?"

'I'm a genetically modified fish aimed at the environmentalist market.'

London Congestion & Polution Zone - 'What's your problem? I thought Boris was in charge now.'

"Good Dad, Bad Dad"

'It just seem excessive, somehow -- buying a big-screen, high-definition TV to watch Geraldo with.'

'Why would I want an ocean-going yacht when I've got a rocking chair in my front porch?'

"That's the plus of our lifestyle: The trophy hunters just look at us, sigh and move on..."

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

"The Bible . . . that would be under self-help."

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

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