Elevator Encounters Gifts

Canadian Standoff

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

Lift buttons read: East Side/West Side/All Around the Town.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

Offices moved to 23rd floor - taking the company to new heights - the management.

Thumbing a Lift.

"This IS my day-to-night outfit"

Going Down?

'That's right, we're going all the way to the top floor ... I'm late for a meeting!'

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

'I'm playing 18 floors.'

Elevator charge $1.00.

A businessman waits for an elevator; on his briefcase are two stickers reading "Up" and "Down".

"It's not that I'm lazy. But I envisage myself not so much climbing the corporate ladder, as taking the corporate elevator."

The guy who got in on the ground floor

'Not only did they install an elevator to help you get over the dam, they also hired an elevator operator.'

Muzak's Top 10

'What a day! My secretary was out, our biggest customer canceled a large order, the computer broke down, I didn't have any lunch, and leaving work I got stuck for an hour in the elevator with an 18 year old nympho with big breasts!'

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

"Can you at least pretend to try and hold the elevator so I won't mull over and over how you didn't hold the elevator."

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

Santa Elevator

A Fork-lift.

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

"This thing is so slow!"

'Going up?'

Elevator buttons read: Way Up/up/Down/Way Down.

Chatty, garlic-coffee breath, apathetic, contagious

"Ah guys, before you push any buttons can I just check my calculator?"

'Yeh right! Always blame the dung beetle!' - An elevator mishap.

"Do we look like we're going up?"

'You can't use the elevator as guestroom!'

"What does it look like? I'm running a little late this morning."

Elevator. Up, down and dirty.