Elegant Adventurer Gifts

She loved the sound her gown made when she ran

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

"This is daring, but I like it."

Busy man, busy life, busy shirt.

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

'Somehow an electronic fish finder just isn't as exciting as a 'Ben fish finder'.'

Comedy Ballet of Marionettes I (Oil Version in Tate Known as 'A Caprice'

"Of course, lots of women are just going bare-headed."

"Underweird bras."

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

Rogue elephant

"It makes a statement, but it begs a question."

"A conundrum, rather than an outright mess, I think, Mrs Ellis..."

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'I AM a cowboy so therefore they ARE cowboy boots, OK?'

"I never got the chance to be homesick. You tweeted about me 20 times a day."

Columbus discovers ... his feminine side.

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

"We hired all the designers ourselves."

'Daddy says, 'Better drowned than duffers if not duffers won't drown'. Well, let's just hope social services don't hear about this.'

"Can you de-schlump him?"

'You asked for the 'Cartoonists' Cut'. You got the Cartoonists' Cut'. What's the problem?'

'When I was a Scout, we had to blaze trails without sticky notes.'

After traveling across the universe for thousands of years, an episode of "Leave It To Beaver" is received by an inhabitant of a distant galaxy.

Clarence always halved lots of cargo.

"The years 1966 through 1995 are blank because I was on tour with the Grateful Dead."

"Great coaching is about emphasising the positive...."

Pirate trying to choose what to wear

'Grandpa says that, in his day, he had to walk 20 miles in the snow just to steal music.'

'We've travelled tandem all our mrried life!'

'Steady Lulu, steady, ...HEEL!' - The Rare Poodle Retriever.