Electronics Sales Assistant Gifts

'I need a universal remote.'

Killer Executive Suits.

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

'Now I know why they threw in the printer for free. It's only got a resolution of one dot per 8 12 inches.'

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

"You know you're getting old when..."

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

'Please enter your pin now.'

'Better buy one now - before they make them too big to fit into your house.'

and this little light starts blinking when your computer becomes obsolete

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

'Gents toilet? Ah, got me there...'

"This new system is too complex...pass it on."

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

The Ultimate Sleeping Bag.

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

'Don't just stand there doing nothing! Sell yourself a suit!'

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

'And it comes with an accompanying dictionary.'

Sales assistant: 'This sat-nav is free, but it does alter your route so that you travel past its sponsors' advertising billboards.'

'I put an app on your computer to remove cookies and other thins slowing it down. It's like fiber for your computer.'

'Super size me!!'

Widescreen TV.

'Wow, thanks for putting it into context. My 42-inch plasma really is obsolete.'

'Don't worry, if you buy it, you don't have to wear it.'

"Have you been trying to fix this yourself."

'How do you know he wants to go to college? Maybe he wants to be a sportscaster.'

"It's a novel about loss, and redemption, and fantastic sex."

Flat screen TVs and 3D TVs.

"It's £50 for something that will drive me wild with passion or £25 for something that will get him to leave you alone so you can binge watch Netflix."

'What do you give to a man who has everything?' 'Antibiotics!'

Consumer care and technologies

"While we do appreciate your diligence... It's not the store's policy to shoot shoplifters!"

"The curvature of the screen tricks the brain into perceiving that you're not overpaying."

Museum - Mummy as a sales assistant.