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Wordilly Durdillies - Charlie was easily shocked

A young Don King

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

Don't worry, the first 30 years as a paramedic are the hardest.

'What the … ? How did those thugs get into my car?'

'How long did you try before calling?'

To prevent geese from flying toward its planes, Jupiter Airlines made some key design changes,

"We've completely child-proofed our home."

Edison: The Father also of Static Electricity

Home Heating Oil

"Thanks for coming in to work on such short notice."

"Tell her the surgeon is the best in his field and she'll get through this fine!"

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

Burn All Your Garden Rubbish

"Maaaybe we could remove some of the electrons from our electricity and market both regular and premium grade."

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

'Larry, did you replace the cartridges in all the respirators this morning?'

Polly's 217 Years' Birthday Party was very Successful until Mrs. Wilson lit the Birthday Cake

"I'll put you on the waiting list."

"I failed driver's ed....Apparently there's like this rule about rear-ending a police car!"

Load explodes on impact.

Hazardous Wastes R Us.

'So, Bill! What do you think my chances are of moving into supervisory position?'

"An earthquake cracked the building in half. I'd have it fixed, but it's keeping the staff from constantly going to the break room."

This place is crawling with backstabbers, but they don't worry me.

"Bob's the name. Toxic-waste handling's the game."

Now do you see the point of regular electrical checks?

'You'll have to wait until I find my keys.'

Man with Air Bag,"Did you know the earth spins at 1038 mph?"

"Ok, one finger means fastball, two fingers means curve, three fingers means changeup...and quite often I'll flash you the middle finger, because I've always hated your guts!"

"I don't think the new guy is built for this kind of work, do you?"

'Jack fell down and broke his crown.'

"Shouldn't you rake those up first and then set them on fire?"

'It's always a little dicey using tectonic plates.'

Dept.of energy.