Elderly Loved One Pillows

'I hate it when I walk into a room and forget why I went in there. Especially when it's the bathroom!'

"Why bother?"

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

Albert & Myra - The End Story

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"Wish I could do that." "Better give him a dog treat and a bath first."

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"Careful."

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

Toothless Meal

"Forget the palm dearie...I'll read yer race."

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

Remote Control Duck

Grandpa gets more than he bargained for when his lawnmower takes flight as a helicopter would.

'I'm fighting ageing.'

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"