Elderly Care Connaisseur Pillows

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"Why bother?"

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"Careful."

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

Duel in a wheelchair.

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

Remote Control Duck

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

Medication for the elderly

'Come die with me.'

"Someone to see you!"

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

'How do you feel when you get up in the morning?' 'Amazed!'

Checking for signs of life.

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

'If I knew it would mean all these hospital appointments, I'd never have got old!'

"We're trying to give geriatrics a sexier image..."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

'Dwayne deeply regretted not placing his mother in a personal haircare home earlier.'

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'