Elderly Care Provider Pillows

'Dwayne deeply regretted not placing his mother in a personal haircare home earlier.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

Handle With Care

"Careful."

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

Duel in a wheelchair.

"I've made a list of lists we need to make."

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

My Mother Was Absolutely Certain She Would Not Succumb to Alzheimer's. She Was Wrong.

"Nice try, but I don't think whisky counts as an 'essential medication'."

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

"Someone to see you!"

'How do you feel when you get up in the morning?' 'Amazed!'

Introducing Life Alarm for people who have fallen but don't want to get up.

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

The nurses here are so slow. Could this blanket be any thinner? The buttons on the tv remote are too darn small. Although her health had improved, Mabel's condition remained critical.

"Don't worry - the Power of Dad still trumps the Power of Attorney."

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

"Don't let old age get you down. It's too difficult to get up again."

"Alright, Grandfather, let's check your ticker."

'Oh no! We forgot to unstrap granny before we left!'

Hospital: Senior Care/Long Term Care/Who Cares

Fetch the Walker

'Be assured about you mother's memory - we back up all the residents onto hard disk once a week.'

Caution Student Driver.

"Television repairs....Don't you want to see my identity?"

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

'When you get older everything hurts... and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

How to save money on geriatric care?

"My butt is loose!"