Caring For Elderly Pillows

"No, your body is actually alive and well back on earth - your mind has just arrived at the gates of blissful dementia."

"She followed me all the way home, Mom! Can we keep her?"

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

". . . and now it's his memory. Three times on Saturday he asked me what day it was. Or did I already tell you that earlier?"

"Careful."

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

Duel in a wheelchair.

'I hope what I have isn't catching.'

Man reads note, which reads: Have been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, I don't know where your dinner is.

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

"We'll less than two metres again, don't know where, don't know when..."

"I love how he finds joy in the simple things." "The emotional burden of alleviating his depression is crushing me."

"The nurse thinks she's sneaky, but I know my meds are in the peanut butter."

'How do you feel when you get up in the morning?' 'Amazed!'

Introducing Life Alarm for people who have fallen but don't want to get up.

'We all have trade-offs in life, Mrs. Quigley. I wanted to be a bartender.'

"You want the truth? I can't remember the truth!"

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

'Dwayne deeply regretted not placing his mother in a personal haircare home earlier.'