Elder Wisdom Appreciator Pillows

"George Stoner is here from Terre Haute. He and Henry are talking over old times."

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

The Final Selfie

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

"...Everyone you meet on the way up, you'll meet again on the way down."

"Someday when you have a kid of your own and you feel the urge to arbitrarily say no just because you can, you'll understand."

'Well, put a jumper on if you're cold!'

'Are you our new glue-ru?'

'It will save us time if you don't tell me what still works and and what doesn't hurt.'

'The 20th century wasn't bad, but I preferred the 19th. I'm open minded for the 21st.'

Old and young

Man with sticker on back reading 'Wife's point of view on board'

The Ageing Process.

Old Tortoise

'I wish I could be around when you're my age. I'd like to see that fashion statement with an adult diaper showing.'

"I've finally got my head together."

Ten Commandments T-Shirt

'Your opinions are a rephrasing of my opinions. I like that in a subordinate.'

'According to these statistics you'll probably outlive me...'

'Mother knows best, Dear, so stop rolling your eyes.'

'FQ...?'

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

"Don't bother complaining about anything to granddad...he'll just say 'these are the best days of your life!!!'"

"Face it, Dear, we're in a desperate battle with gravity...and it's winning!"

"Baldo, no one likes being told what to do...but taking direction is a part of life."

'Try not to take offense when he says - 'Of all the hip joints in all the world etc etc.''

When you get to be my age, you start to notice certain patterns in the river of history. You start to notice, for instance, that the winner always loses. What's that mean? Every great power defines itself as the opposite of its main enemy. Once that enemy is defeated, the great power loses its virtues, its unity ... even its identity. The great power then either creates new enemies, or it fades into history. (Yawn) Old people talk a lot. What I'm saying is, you were not my first "Rudy Park," and

Quadruple espresso. Sorry, Uncle Mort. I'm gonna have to cut you off. I'm old! I can drink as much as I want, whenever I want! You think I got this old without knowing what I can and can't handle? Sorry. See?! I told you I - Zzz. A barista should always follow his instincts.

How Aging Affects Candles. . .

'It's a little read book... the sayings of charwoman mum.'