Elder Wisdom Sharer Pillows

Man with sticker on back reading 'Wife's point of view on board'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

'The hard part will be writing the tutorial.'

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

Lessons.

Mass Confucian

'Are you our new glue-ru?'

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

'It will save us time if you don't tell me what still works and and what doesn't hurt.'

'We're running late and I have much to cover. Can you hold your eight-part question for later?'

The Ageing Process.

Why don't we invite Hypothesis? It's always a good idea to have an educated guest… Party List. Mesomides. Loxias. Anaximenes. Thales.

'The 20th century wasn't bad, but I preferred the 19th. I'm open minded for the 21st.'

Socrates

'I wish I could be around when you're my age. I'd like to see that fashion statement with an adult diaper showing.'

"Son, talk loudly and carry a big shtick.

"He said he's doing all he can to help me, but he can't make me any younger. But I have no interest in getting younger! I just don't want to keep getting older."

Gone Lecturin'

"Remember, a journey of a thousand miles begins with either two squares forward and one to the side, or two squares to the side and one forward."

"I just stood up and nothing hurt... Am I dead?"

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

"My dear, may I suggest a little old-fashioned biofeedback, some acupuncture, and a dollop of nutrition counselling?"

I like having an older doctor. He understands my ailments and has most of em!

"Don't bother complaining about anything to granddad...he'll just say 'these are the best days of your life!!!'"

"Face it, Dear, we're in a desperate battle with gravity...and it's winning!"

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

When you get to be my age, you start to notice certain patterns in the river of history. You start to notice, for instance, that the winner always loses. What's that mean? Every great power defines itself as the opposite of its main enemy. Once that enemy is defeated, the great power loses its virtues, its unity ... even its identity. The great power then either creates new enemies, or it fades into history. (Yawn) Old people talk a lot. What I'm saying is, you were not my first "Rudy Park," and

Quadruple espresso. Sorry, Uncle Mort. I'm gonna have to cut you off. I'm old! I can drink as much as I want, whenever I want! You think I got this old without knowing what I can and can't handle? Sorry. See?! I told you I - Zzz. A barista should always follow his instincts.