Egypt Fan Pillows

"This is amazing! Roughly translated, it says 'King Tut was here o.k.'"

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Football Chameleon

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

"Uptight End"

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

Egyptian chiropractor.

"I thought I told you to employ a reputable building firm"

'We'll have to redesign it. Whenever the Pharoah's wife tries to sunbathe on the roof, she slides off.'

Pyramid Handicap Parking

The Tutankhamen Expedition 1908 (The Economy Version).

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

A mummy, in police tape, chases a police officer.

Sphinx Food

"Oh look Pharaoh a miniature replica of your final resting place."

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

Archaeologists discover a football

How they did it . . .

"Well. . . either it's sinking, or you got the measurements wrong. . .!"

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

'Now what?!'

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

Ancient Grammar Police: 'Oh, for cryin' out loud...you never end a sentence with a . . .'

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

'At a guess I'd say it's one of the lesser Pharoahs.'

'Touchdown!'

'Oooh, she has your eyes Horus.'

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

Yoga. My goal in yoga is the same as the goal of defensive football players. Bend but don't break.